The past few days have had me in whirlpool of emotion, and mostly in a position where I have been forced to reflect on who I truly am.
As I sat on the porch this evening, listening to Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years”, I almost felt as if I was in a scene from a movie; rain falling from the heavens onto the garden in front of me, as I looked out on the street. I felt that every raindrop was a memory of my own that was coming back to remind me of all the experiences I have been through. There has been hurt, there has been trauma. There has been laughter and love. There has been loss. These things make you who you are as a person, but they can also turn you from the person you should be.
Lately, the stresses of life have taken its toll on my personality; anger and less self-control has been a major consequence of my ability to take each day as it comes. I am learning now to move forward in my life, and remember who I once was. Whether that was good or bad, somewhere along the last few months, I have lost who I feel that I truly am.
Maybe I am not the sort of person who can just take one of these revelations and make a positive change in my life. Maybe I just can’t do that, but I am willing to try. The next month will test my ability to take negative matters into my own hands, and protect myself and others from my own bubble of negativity. I might not succeed, but at least I know I had tried.
Sometimes rain drops are the only perspective you need.